#64 | 9.20.24 - Small Talk Hack: 3 Questions That Spark Conversation / 5 Irritating Behaviors of Coworkers / On The Field / 36 Lessons From the Positive Summit
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Small Talk Hack: 3 Questions That Spark Conversation
Have you ever found yourself clutching a drink in a group of people, scanning the room for a friendly face but finding none? Your mind blanks and the only words that come to mind are, "How about this weather?” The awkward silence that follows is almost palpable.
Groan.
What if it didn’t have to be this way? I’ve been thinking about this recently, knowing there has to be something better. With that in mind, I designed three questions you can ask almost anyone to get past the dreaded small talk.
What do you do?
I know, I know—nothing Earth-shattering here. But it's an excellent introductory question that puts the other person at ease. The magic happens with question #2...
Have you always wanted to do that?
I've used this question in several conversations over the past couple of months, and it’s worked wonders. It delves into people's values, dreams, and ambitions. Just the other week, I spoke to an accountant (answer #1) and discovered, from question #2, that he still aspires to be an astronaut.
How have you been sleeping?
Question number three is a wildcard—designed to add a bit of levity while also sparking meaningful conversation. I usually preface it with, "Okay, this might sound weird, but..." Then I mention that I've been asking people this lately, to ease any awkwardness.
What makes these questions work is being genuinely curious about the other person’s answers. I would advise against moving too quickly from one question to the next and instead ask follow-up questions.
The goal is to have fascinating conversations, and with these three simple questions, I hope you don’t have to resort to weather reports ;)
5 Irritating Behaviors of Coworkers
Fortune.com recently went person-to-person in NYC asking about behavior of coworkers in the workplace. As you’ll see in the article, surprisingly, when coworkers arrive for the day doesn’t make the Top 5. I found myself nodding my head on #2 - #5.
On The Field
I came across this quote on Reddit this week, and I found myself having a mental tug-of-war. I think I get the sentiment - work/life balance, leave work at the office, etc. However, I don’t think I agree as it swings the pendulum too far. If when I’m done at the office or ‘off the field,’ as the analogy goes, if I “remember that the game doesn’t matter at all,” then maybe it’s time I start playing a different game. I’m all for resting and getting refreshed on those days off, but I wouldn’t make the jump to say the work doesn’t matter at all. Quite the contrary, actually. 🤔
36 Lessons From the Positive Summit
A great summary of key points from Jon Gordon’s “Positive Summit”, an annual conference. I especially liked, “Give yourself permission to disappoint others so you can stop disappointing yourself.” - Rachel Luna
Words to wrap up
Pressure is a privilege; that's what makes you. Mistakes are not failures. Do not ever perceive a mistake as a failure; perceive it as feedback. Everything is feedback. Pay attention, be curious, be nimble, don't take things personally, and never lose sight of your dream.
- Billie Jean King, USC Annenberg Commencement Address