#41 | 3.15.24 - 1 Year Ago Today
Hello, friends, and welcome to Further Faster Fridays! Happy to have you here!
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This issue is going to be a bit different as today is a big day, which you’ll read about below. We’ll return to our regularly scheduled content next week :)
1 Year Ago Today
Today is the 1 year anniversary of my wife Leslie having brain surgery at the Mayo Clinic. Wow, feels weird to even write that. I’m so happy to report that this week Leslie had a couple of follow-up appts with her care team and she’s been given the all-clear and has officially ‘graduated from Mayo!’ (I love that her care team used those words).
With that in mind, I asked Leslie to write this issue and provide some insights into what she has learned and experienced. I love what she wrote below, and am so excited to share it with you!
🙏 Practice Gratitude
As I reflect on the past year, I think of it as a new beginning for me to become a healthier version of myself. All those uncertain moments that I had throughout the year, I am grateful for each one of them. Those moments have shaped me into who I am today. I feel like before surgery I took for granted that my tomorrow is guaranteed. The surgery I underwent taught me that life is unpredictable, which I was aware of, but the emergency surgery gave me a different perspective and a deep sense of gratitude for my loved ones who form an important part of my life. The sense of relief I get every night I can look up at the stars and not feel dizzy will continually bring me a sense of gratitude for my physical healing. That said, my mental healing took a bit longer. With the help of my husband, therapist, and friends, I was able to realize that I could never be the person I was before the surgery, and that was a good thing. Who I am now is a better version of who I was meant to be. I have learned that being patient allows you to appreciate who you truly are.
“Be patient when becoming someone you haven’t been before,” Tanya Markil.
Application: Numerous scientific studies support the idea of cultivating gratitude in your life. As mentioned in previous issues, expressing gratitude not only makes you a better person but also has a positive impact on those around you, especially when you express your appreciation for them. Gratitude is an almost guaranteed way to bring positivity into your day, as well as into the lives of others.
🟢 Go First
After about 2 months of resting, I started to think about things I wanted to do as I started to feel better, and I realized I wanted to show my friends I appreciated them. I have done just that. It started with a couple of coffee dates with a friend that I reached out to and that turned into weekly coffee dates or lunches with larger groups of friends that I had before surgery. I realized that I wanted to be a part of my friends' journeys and show them how much I care about them. I have even been able to make a couple of new connections through brain surgery stories, which I never expected. My new friend and I shared our brain images before we ever met in person so that was a first! It's amazing how embracing life without fear can lead to incredible relationships if you're open to it.
On a more practical side, I had to also learn to balance my desire to do all the things with the fact that my recovery would take a year. There were some days I did too much and it was just a matter of learning the balance of life with my newish self.
Also, just a little something I have learned about the brain this year, did you know that when you stare it is your brain’s way of telling you that it has received too much information and it needs a moment to reset? At that moment, you’re supposed to lean into the stare until it is finished. I have done this over the past year and it actually does help but maybe not if you’re driving 😊
Application: Don’t wait to pursue others in community and relationship. If you want to spend more time with someone, ask them. If you are interested in someone mentoring/coaching you, ask them. Be bold and “Go First” to pursue those connections. Who knows - you might inspire someone to do the same. 😀
📣 Words Create Worlds
I picture words as a lifeline during my past year. As I struggled to grasp peace in those first few months, the words people texted to us were like a “word rope” I pictured in my mind. As I thought about the meaning and thought behind each of the people’s messages, it slowly pulled me out and into a healthier way of thinking.
Application: This runs in parallel to practicing gratitude, but it’s also bigger. Our words hold tremendous power and as leaders, our Words Create Worlds. The question is - what kind of world are you creating for those around you? What kind of world do you want to create?
✅ Do The Thing
“Do the thing” is such a good way to put it. Is there something you have wanted to do or maybe it is something you have wanted to change? Well, just do that thing then. My faith is very important to me, and I wanted to have a deeper relationship with God especially since during all of this I felt like my relationship could be stronger. So what did I do? I started reading a daily devotional that really refocused my way of thinking.
Also, in those first few months after surgery I started to see the signs of depression creeping back into my way of thinking again and, before it spiraled out of control, I did the scary thing and called my therapist after 5 years of not seeing her. The scariest part of that was doing the thing of actually making the phone call. A lot of people said to me, “Oh I bet you are not afraid of anything after going through brain surgery” and that is just not true. Yes, I had surgery but I am still human, and things still make me nervous, but it has made me more confident in my ability to do things that I was maybe unsure of before. I do want to do a plug for therapy because it has helped so much to get my brain into the right way of thinking that I know without her help my recovery would not have been as successful. She is a true gem, and I am forever grateful for all that she has taught me.
Application: It’s a fair assumption most of us have heard it said (or said ourselves) during times of crisis, “let me know if you need anything”. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that, but nowadays, we’re motivated to just do the thing. What does that mean? If we know someone is going through a crisis, perhaps we bring them a meal. Or shovel their sidewalk, or give them a ride - whatever it is, we are encouraged to be bold and do the thing. 😀
💪 You’re Stronger Than You Think
You are so much stronger than you think you are and sometimes the only way to find that out is by going through something difficult. I have learned a lot about myself this past year and the one thing I am certain of is I am stronger than I thought I was. I did not know I had it in me to go through such an uncertain time and to watch my husband have to support me while dealing with his uncertainty about what would exactly happen to me. I know that life will continue to have uncertainty in it, but it is a matter of how you grow through it. Will you let it throw you off track or will you embrace it and let it change you into someone better than your current self?
I want to end with the Bible verse that came to me the moment they wheeled me into ICU to recover. Philippians 4:5-7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Nothing could be more true. I have a quote for my past year and this is my verse for the past year and 2024 too because I still need it as a reminder, God is good he has my best interest at heart. He taught Tyler and me that we are a stronger team than we thought it possible to be. Honestly, I could not have made it through this year without his help, support, and caregiving. We know that there will still be a risk for me as the cyst will continue to be a part of me, but we are comforted in the fact that Mayo said I can officially graduate (those words created a world for me!) from seeing them regularly. God has given us such a peace about it. I am finding my way as I navigate this new person I have become and listening to the new clues from my body when I need to rest. Who knows maybe this cyst will end up giving me telekinetic powers one day 😊
I am and will always be grateful for my ability to look up at the stars and not be sick. Additionally, the numerous friends and family that surrounded us and not only reached out to me but took care of my husband too - that means the world to me.
Application: In the hard times, in the uncertainty, know this: You. Are. Stronger. Than. You. Think. In the times when you don’t feel strong, Go First and reach out to your village! ❤️
Words to wrap up
“Your story must reflect change over time. A story cannot simply be a series of remarkable events. You must start out as one version of yourself and end as something new."
From “Storyworthy”